Perpetual motion

Can't stop learning…

Riding shotgun in someone else’s drunken pipe dream

So you know that feeling that you’re not quite living up to everything that everyone needs you to be?  I feel like that a lot lately. Like I’m letting people down.  I’m busting my ass at work, putting in way too many hours, but this project…it’s like nothing goes right and I feel like it’s almost beyond my power to get it going the way it should be.  And that doesn’t just apply to this NGO stuff.  While I’ve been spending all my time at work, it’s like I’ve become a spectator to my personal life.  Waiting for something to happen that will push me in a direction.  I always wait for people to ask me out for a drink or dinner, I’m waiting for people to find something for me to do, I’m not even that motivated to look for an apartment away from the office. 

I spend all my time trying to fix things beyond my control because I assume that the things that I can control will come easy and as a result, I end up almost exclusively being acted upon.  that’s probably not good.

So run tonight, decided to see if I could push my boundaries a bit, you know give it that little extra push over the top.  Here it is:  “11” Took me 51:28, 25:30 out 25:58 back. That almost matches the farthest that I’ve gone down the coast so far, from that first day. I’m probably going to take it down a few notches tomorrow, my body will most likely force me to take it down quite a bit.

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