She said “You’re changing.” Well we’re always changing

I should be working now. I mean, I should be asleep, but there are some significant problems that I’m working on that I’d like to have solved. Of course, not doing anything between 6:30 and midnight is not conducive to solving those problems. So I guess the bigger/biggest problem is actually sitting down to work, which writing isn’t. But in not being work, it’s much more interesting.  That’s not to say I don’t enjoy my work: in fact, I enjoy it significantly more than most other jobs I’ve held. It’s quite the challenge.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever really change from who I am. I don’t know that I haven’t tried, and I don’t know that I haven’t changed. I know that now I am happy and actually acting happy, though I am still quite cynical. If you ask my parents, I think they’ll say I’ve always had some snide comeback to everything that is said around me (not necessarily said to me). I imagine that watching TV with me must get quite irritating. I’d imagine that most things, when I am at my most verbal, are quite annoying to do with me. And I’d imagine that even when I’m not being loud, I can still be annoying in still other ways.

I’ve been sleeping like crap again lately. It’s taking me forever to fall asleep and I wake up in a sweat every morning and I have no earthly idea why. I don’t think I’ve even been dreaming of late. I got nothing else. I’m going to try and solve one of these problems and then go to sleep.