September 2006

how much strength does it take for exploration

As anyone can tell you, I’m a big believer in the consequences of inconsequential actions. Not that I want to be, so much. It would be nice, to, you know, really get mad at someone without worrying about the repurcussions. Or not even really mad, but just to… to… actually externalize my displeasure. Repression, you are mine enemy.

I was thinking about skydiving today. I’d really like to go skydiving. I’d love to accelerate to terminal velocity and then soar down to earth. But the 1% of me that knows that there is a chance (A CHANCE!) that the parachute might fail to open is worried about the millisecond of pain I’d feel before my life would be over. It’s amazing that I’ve overcome this fear in so many aspects of my life: flying, cycling, skiing, doing stupid stunts and other more personal things. And it’s shameful that it holds me back from so many other things that I’d probably love to do.
I’m sure that once I skydived, I’d love it. I’d love that feeling. I’d be scared out of my wits in free fall, and may never want to do it again, but at least I’d have done it. And the chances are so small that the parachute would [corrected to add] fail to open.

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The cat in the hat came back

The power was out this morning. Received a text from my roommate telling me so. I had woken up at 7 am, looked at the clock, gone back to sleep. Sometime after that, the power went out.

It’s been a very hectic few weeks. Home for my friends’ wedding (he’s my age, she’s Nina’s, so it was a bit freaky). It was good to be home. Played some golf, got some sun, didn’t sleep all that much. Par for the course (ha).

I adopted a cat, Jake. He’s cute, smart, loves to climb and play. It’s a bit of an adjustment since he loves to play and jump on the bed when I’m going to sleep. But I’m getting used to it, and I think Jake understands what he can (snuggle, bite toes, run across us) and can’t (swat faces, eat hair, climb past my pillows) do.

Work has been, well, heavy. I got sick last week, so I was given a bit of a reprieve (though I would have much rather been working), but other than that I’ve been spending quite a bit of time at the office. It’s funny how I think of 4:30 as early in the afternoon with plenty of time for things to get done before the day ends.

Now it’s monday, and I can finally post this.

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